I've talked about starting a new blog for forever, but I just didn't have the courage to let this one go.
I still haven't figured out how to completely walk away as I don't want to let my life chronicled here for the past 8 years to be lost forever. I think I will post once a month or so here just to keep this alive for all the work and writing and photos and memories.
But, this is my big announcement. I am finally strong enough to say goodbye. It's a big deal. This place has been my refuge in many many hard times. My readers have been there for me giving me the will to go on. I am bawling as I write this. Truthfully, bawling. I'm going to miss you all. I'm going to miss this support system. I'm going to miss this blog and it's worn torn pages, like a big old journal I've hauled with me everywhere I go. I feel like I am throwing it into a bonfire or onto the shelves of a daycare full of toddlers.
But, God has wisely and ever so gently worked with me to help me to NOT need the approval of others.
Yeah, I'm still a work in progress and some days I do better than others. Today is a struggling day, but I have to do it, it's the right thing.
I am letting go of this blog in the hopes that I will love myself enough, and look to God for what I really need, what none of you really could have given me all along.
I have started a new blog. I need an outlet in this next phase in my journey and I am the kind of learner that learns best by writing. I have debated and even wrestled with the Lord over the new blog. I can't let it become a crutch. I can't want it to be HUGE, like I've done all along here. The world's approval does not matter. The only thing that matters is if I am living true to my God and what He asks of me.
Right now what He has asked of me is to be home with my kids. Like I said in the last post I am struggling with His request. I have trust issues. I have resentment. I have pride.
My new blog is the place where I will focus on learning to love being at home because that is what He has asked of me, and even though I have been parenting for 14 years I still have a lot to learn. So much to learn.
I can't market it. God has told me that much. I can't write for the approval of others.This is something I will have to battle within myself every day, but in the long run I know it will give me more peace. The only way I can healthfully blog is if I am using it as a measuring stick for my approval or as a place to solidify what I learn. So, I won't have comments enabled on my new blog.
I hesitate to even share the new place with you, but really, I won't even know if you are reading, and I hope I get to a place where I won't care if you are. Not that I won't care about you and our friendship, but that I won't care if I blog for a million people or just me. I want to blog for me and keep it between me and my God because He's bigger than a million people.
Here it is. Follow me on my journey if you'd like.
I hope it will be full of profound wisdom, straight from God.
If you aren't into that kind of thing, I hope you will have a change of heart.
Not because I need you at my new place online, but because God needs you, and someday answering to Him is all that is going to matter.
Wow. This is bitter sweet. It feels like a funeral and a baby being born at the same time.
Thank you all for you friendships. Thank you for your support.